Dear Iron Bowl,
I'm glad that you have agreed to peruse my email. I know you are in for a very busy week, but I wanted to speak from the heart in hopes that you take my thoughts into consideration. By the way- do you mind if I call you IB? Thanks!
I want you to know that while we have enjoyed a special relationship over the past many decades, I feel as if you are slipping away. Maybe we've been seeing too much of each other, maybe we need a new twist in our relationship. But when I think of what you will be offering this Saturday, my mind wanders. While you always tell me to "throw out the record books", this weekend's game might get ugly- I mean one team is favored by some 30 points. Thirty points? Is that any way to add excitement to our relationship?
I want you to be honest with me IB: Is there another man that has caused you to become a mere blip on the college football landscape? Look- I'm a man- in fact I'm over forty. So if you tell me that Nick Saban has caused you to sink to just another game, so be it. What's so special about this guy anyway? He's 5 foot 7 and eats Little Debbie snack cakes, for crying out loud. But over the past few years, this guy has been sucking the excitement out of you!
Before you exhange me for Mr "Ya Gotta Finish", remember what we have been through. You have brought me breath-taking moments like "Punt Bama Punt", "Bo Over The "Top", "Tillman, Tillman, Tillman", "Van Tiffin's Kick", "Langham's Pick", "Riddle's Run", "One For The Thumb", "Go Crazy Cadillac", "The Drive", and "Cam's Comeback". Now you've become just another game. Those guys from Tuscaloosa have left you- they consider games against LSU, Miss State, even Texas A&M more exciting than what you have brought them. And the guys from Auburn? This year's been tough, but let's hope the Tigers "bring it" and you can offer us a breathtaking finish!
I'm not sure what you can do, IB, to keep the excitement in our relationship. I've been loyal to you for years (allright, back in 1983 I went to the Florida-FSU game, but I wasn't cheating, only looking). I'll be watching you this weekend, IB, and if you decide to become just another game, remember that I will always love you. But be wary of that sneaky Saban character- and don't get all tingly inside when he tells you about The Process.